what I am going to wear lives rent free in my head

What do I think about everyday? Well, lots of ideas and thoughts, but one almost never fails: what am I going to wear today? I have a memory of wanting to wear my sparkly strappy heels with my neon pink and blue SpongeBob pleated cheerleader skirt in the first grade. So I put them in my empty lunchbox, whipped them out at at lunch and wore them for recess.

Even at this age I admired other girls in my class who could go the whole day in a skirt, heels (children's heels of course), and long dangly earrings. They ignored the cold in the morning, the hurt of their feet, the occasional snag of an earing, and all while convincing their parents to let them wear it to school at this age.

I specifically remember a queen I went to elementary school with named Denise N. I still have an image in my head of her walking to recess, her long dangling earrings and hair blowing in the breeze. Her two friends were walking beside her admiring her beauty and style. No idea if that is exactly what went down, but this is how I remember it hehe.

I used to look back on these memories and feel shame. This was probably because I had a lot of shame (yes even at a young age) around wanting to dress nicely. I learned to dress accordingly, comfortably, and functionally. If my outfit made others think twice about their outfit, then I was not to dress that way. I had to lower my standards to fit in. I was afraid to stand out, even though I wanted so badly to express myself. Who was I to dress like that? I have since unlearned all of that.

Here and there I experimented with my wardrobe, but really started to experiment when I started my small thrift business @TheThriftMenu. I used my business Instagram page to showcase some creative outfits I put together with the clothes for sale! One week, I wore an outfit inspired by a different character in Stranger Things every day (more on that in a later blog post). So inspiring and so iconic. I cannot believe I did that, I should do more things like that.

Through all my experimentation and creative outfits I learned how important how I show up and represent myself in the world is. This was reiterated by another creator who was introduced to me by Annmarie a friend I made at UC Berkeley: @Anna.Krstna.

Anna Kristina truly truly deserves her own blog post. I cannot wait to share her with you! Anna emphasizes how your appearance is a part of your self-care, part of your introduction of yourself to others. Everything you wear on the daily, lounge clothes, gym fits, pajamas, your hair, your makeup is all a love letter to yourself every time you look in the mirror. Your brain subconsciously, whether you realize it or not, is tracking what you put your time, effort, and mental labor into and decides what is important. If you are pouring into yourself, your brain knows that you value yourself! This is ultimately what it all comes down to: your self worth. This along with your new found style/looks/aesthetics will increase your confidence and your standards for how others treat you. This all starts with how you treat yourself, think of yourself, and talk to yourself. The universe responds to this, you will start attracting people, things, and opportunities in alignment with your new found mindset and life practices.

This especially applies to women as more often than not, I see a lot flowing from women and receiving from women, but not the other way around. So demand it, command it, by treating yourself accordingly first. This is a daily practice.

Subscribe and follow along for more on style and aesthetic think pieces like this. What do you think and how much effort do you put into your style? Thanks so much for reading, love ya, and catch you next time!